Developing Self-Regulation

This week's article summary is 19 Ways to Help Students Self-Regulate.

A number of years ago I listened to an education report on NPR that stated that the three most critical indicators of children’s future success are their IQ, their parents’ socio-economic level, and their self-control. The report further stated that for the most part self-control is the only factor that’s changeable.

Think about that!

As we’re growing up, our IQ and parents’ income are pretty much set. Depending on the luck of the draw, we might have a higher or lower IQ and grow up in wealthier or poorer families.

So, for many of us, our greatest chance for future success is to develop strong self-control.

As elementary school teachers, we are charged with developing in our students foundational habits, attitudes, and skills, including executive function skills like self-control and self-regulation.

Self-regulation helps us in many ways.

It helps us form and sustain interpersonal relationships. It helps us be fair, take turns, listen to others.

It helps us focus and attend to our jobs and responsibilities. It helps us defer gratification.

It’s a crucial skill, and, most importantly, it can be developed in all of us.

But its development take time and effort: we all needed to be taught to control our selfish, impetuous instincts. We needed role models (adults and peers). We needed time to practice and develop our self-control. And we needed constant reminders and reinforcement.

The examples below are some ways to help kids learn about the importance of self-control and scaffolding for those who need extra support.

Ultimately, self-control is about learning to be aware and in control of our emotions, including anger and frustration, not being ruled by them.

We teach kids who have varying levels of IQ and different family backgrounds, yet our goal for all our students is to develop strong self-control and self-regulation.

Joe

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School is all about giving students the skills they need to succeed. That certainly applies to reading, writing, and math, but equally important is self-regulation. 

Thinking about behavior objectively—as a skill to be taught rather than simply as good or bad—is immensely helpful in a teacher’s ability to guide children in learning to control their behavior.

There are a variety of proactive steps that can help keep students composed. Regularly checking in with kids—and building relationships with them—can increase their sense of safety in the classroom and give them an opportunity to share how they’re feeling. Plus, sticking to routines and simplifying your classroom expectations can decrease the risk of outbursts born from frustration or confusion.

But even with these proactive practices in place, young students with still-developing brains can struggle to control their own reactions. Here are some teacher-tested strategies that can help endow elementary students with the essential, lifelong skill of self-regulation.

Develop emotional vocabulary: To understand and discuss their emotions, kids need a wider emotional vocabulary.  Ask students to perform “feeling brainstorms,” in which they’re tasked to “think of 20 types of happy or sad.” As they generate more words and share them among each other, it’s more likely that they’ll begin to use more precise words to describe their own emotions in the future—like “anxious,” “excited,” or “satisfied.” Once students have a healthy emotional vocabulary, tools like mood meters, emotion wheels, and mood scales can help them track how their emotions change day-to-day.

Chat it out with a stuffed animal: If students are feeling stressed, they may need to talk through their feelings—but it’s not always necessary that a human be the one listening. When students are given stuffed animals to care for and chat with teachers often notice a calm in many students that they had not seen before.

Create a peace corner: A number of classrooms have a designated “peace corner”—a space for kids who need to self-regulate, filled with a bean bag chair, sensory toys, stuffed animals, and charts describing calming breathing and counting exercises. Students choose when to go to the corner, and their teacher sets a five-minute timer, but the student can request more time if needed.

Use choice time: Free choice time, when structured well, can help students learn self-regulatory skills. Kids can go to various areas of the classroom during free time (like “blocks” or “dramatic play”), and if that area is at capacity, they can put their name on a waiting list. Students can ask their teacher to set a timer for when they’ll be allowed to switch into the area— and having that visual of the time getting less and less allows them to develop their patience.

Measure the size of a problem: To many young kids, every problem can feel huge, and therefore deserving of a huge reaction. Teachers can help students put things into perspective. For example, teachers can have students rate problems—like “Someone took your pencil” and “A family member is in the hospital”—on a scale of 1 to 5 and reflect on what the appropriate response to each might be. Calibrating responses throughout the year can help students in the moment think, ‘I can take a second, then I can react appropriately.’”

Use picture books: Picture books can help kids learn about emotions and how to deal with them. Books like Big Feelings, which “identifies and addresses the intense emotions that children sometimes experience when attempting to work collaboratively.”

Morning check-ins: Quick check-ins at the beginning of the day can help students reflect on what they’re feeling. Ask students to share one “rose” (something they’re excited about) and one “thorn” (something they’re worried or upset about). Ask students to describe how they’re feeling in a single word. They might start with words like “good” or “bad,” but with more development of their emotional vocabulary, they might progress to “anxious” or “serene.”

Picture your peaceful place: A moment of mindful meditation can help kids regulate themselves. When kids are overcome by their feelings, asking them to close their eyes and “visualize a moment or place that makes them feel the most peaceful,” like a specific room in their house or playing with a particular toy. Picturing every detail—every sound, every smell—can help calm students who are “feeling high levels of emotionality.”

Relaxing body movements: Stretching, bending, and balancing exercises provide sensory input that can help regulate strong emotions. During a transition period in class, for example, ask students to stand straight, then “use your right arm to help you bend your left knee toward your shoulder, and hold this position for five seconds,” before repeating it with the left arm and right knee. Asking students to clench and release the muscles in their hands and faces can have a similar effect.

Write down your values: Taking time to reflect on and write down your core values, improves self-esteem, executive function, and inhibitory control. Write down “10 things that define who you are and make you special.” Ask students to reflect on the “anchors” in their life that stabilize them—people they care about and trust, calming places, or pets. Students can return to this list of anchors—to add to it, or just read over it—whenever they’re feeling overwhelmed.

Leverage the power of nature: Connecting kids with the natural world has wide-ranging mental benefits, including less overall stress.

Positive self-talk: Students’ stress often derives from feeling like they’re not good enough—or simply unable to accomplish a given task. Teaching them to develop the habit of positive self-talk in the face of challenges can help. Tell your students that when they have a negative thought about themselves, they can replace it with an affirmation, like “I can totally do this!” or “I can feel proud that I’m trying my best!”

Simple breathing exercises: Breathing exercises have a calming effect, making them a great tool for self-regulation. Ask students to breathe in through your nose slowly for 4 seconds, hold, then breathe out through your mouth slowly for 6 seconds. Put one hand on their stomach and one hand in front of their nose: As they breathe in, they feel their stomach expand, and as they breathe out, they feel warm air hit their hand. Prompt students to “exhale away” any negative thoughts they might be feeling.

Sensory brain breaks: Quick brain breaks focused on sensory activities allow students to process what they’ve learned and reduce stress. Here are some examples:

• Name Scribbles: Have students write their name four times with their dominant hand and four times with the other hand. Afterward, discuss how it felt; which was more difficult? Why?
• The Junk Bag: Create a bag full of junk drawer items—shoelaces, markers, a can opener, etc. Pick an item from the bag and ask students to come up with two ways the object could be used outside of its intended purpose. They can write or draw their answers.

Calming sounds: Teachers can use a variety of effective sounds in their classroom—rain sticks, bells, chimes, peaceful music.

Express emotions with art: Artistic activities can help kids process and express emotions, as well as create a sense of safety and comfort, reducing stress.

Self-regulating games: Many games require players to exhibit restraint, which can help kids develop discipline over their bodies and brains. For example, games like Red Light, Green Light and Freeze “require participants to exert self-control.

Create time to discuss: Even if you feel like you’ve given your students all the tools they need to self-regulate, some kids are bound to have difficulties. In those cases, it’s helpful to make time to chat with students one-on-one. Kids need objective, nonjudgmental feedback in order to improve their behavior. When a problem arises, find a calm time to discuss what went wrong, why, and how it can be handled differently next time.