I am a first born. I have one sibling: a sister who is ten years my junior.
My wife is a first born, the oldest of seven kids.
I have two kids--naturally one is a first born.
I, my wife, and my older son are very much alike in terms of personality, ambition, effort, etc.
While I don't think that being a first born is the only commonality that shaped us into who we are, I have always believed that birth order is a contributing factor.
A number of years ago when my younger son was playing in an indoor soccer tournament, his team was routed by a team from Columbus, Ohio. After the game, I spoke with the Columbus coach, complimenting him on his players' skill, attitude, and effort, and I asked him how he got his team to play so well.
He looked at me and said, "I avoid having first born kids on my team."
A recent article on Inc.com referenced a study on birth order.
The study found that generally first-borns "are more likely to value 'mastery goals', which involve improving one's own performance at certain tasks, while second born children are more likely to focus on 'performance goals' and the pursuit of outperforming others...first borns may be more motivated to learn, whereas second borns may be more motivated to win."
When I think back to my childhood, I was never competing against anyone but myself. Self-improvement and personal mastery were more important. (Heck, in college I took courses that interested me rather than would make me more marketable.) I grew up in a world where my limits were age appropriate.
My younger sister, on the other hand, was continuously being compared to me by my parents, and she measured herself against me. She never had a eight-foot baskeball hoop to shoot at as I did. If her brother was shooting on a ten-foot basket, she would too.
I was also much more coddled and protected by my parents since they were experiencing different parent rites of passage at the same time I was experiencing my pubescent and adolescent rites of passage. Like many first-borns, I was dismayed years later at how lenient my parents were to my sister compared to me.
I was very much a rule follower: in fact, I enjoyed school so much, I stayed in it by becoming a teacher (as did my wife and my older son--both first borns).
There is definitely a greater level of competitiveness to my sister and younger son compared to my older son, my wife, and me. They also are more inclined to taking risks than we first-borns are. But we first borns are more cautoius and aim to please: we always completed our homeowrk on time and rarelt, if ever, didn't come home after our curfew.
What does this mean for teachers?
The reality is the uniqueness of all us is comprised of many factors. While birth order is not a sole determinant in who I am, being a first born did shape me differently than if I had been the second, third, or fourth child in a family.
My last blog contained a list of qualities great teachers possess. And one of the qualities was getting to know your students. What I needed from a teacher was a different from what my sister needed, and the teachers we remember were the ones who took the time to get to know us...including our birth order.
My sister and my second son were much "tougher athletes" than my wife, older son, and I ever were. I understand why the Columbus soccer coach avoided having first borns on his team.
