Calm, Clear, and Kind

This week's article summary is Calm, Clear, and Kind: What Students Want From Their Teachers.

The past two summaries have centered on the importance of teachers developing a strong, supportive, trusting relationship with their students.

This week’s summary asked students exactly what they want and need from their teachers: Calmness (specifically their teachers always appropriately regulating their emotions regardless of the stress of the moment), Clarity (with instructions and explanations), and Kindness (being fair, understanding, and compassionate).

I particularly enjoyed the actual words students used to provide examples of calmness, clarity, and kindness.

We all know that kids are always watching adults and learn much from observing adults in action—in and out of school. As such, “remaining calm, being clear in our communications, and treating others with kindness and consideration” is a simple but effective mantra for all of us to guide our lives, not only our classrooms.

Joe

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Years of research in the field of social-emotional learning (SEL) has demonstrated that when students have supportive relationships with their teachers, they experience better well-being and success in school. 

What does it mean to be a caring, supportive teacher? 

I recently published a study in the Journal of Adolescent Research in which I asked students what makes a caring teacher. Their responses aligned with education research: that the most authentic, wholehearted educators are calm, clear, and kind. 

Be calm: This refers to a teacher’s ability to remain calm and regulate their own stress in the face of the challenges inherent in teaching. In doing so, teachers are less reactive and better able to support students with their own emotion regulation. Students describe a caring teacher as one who “does stuff calmly like not yelling” and “takes time to explain the work” and “creates a calming environment to work in.” Some other comments from students were “be patient when someone doesn’t understand the material,” “they don’t yell,” and “they help you calm down.”

Be clear: This is a teacher’s capacity to remain present with their students and to stay curious and in tune with their needs. It also emphasizes the importance of teachers listening and maintaining clear, democratic communication with their students. For students being clear means “They explain the work well”, “They listen to your ideas”, “They listen with their eyes”, “Notice your feelings even if other people don’t”, and “Resolve a problem before it gets big”. 

Be kind:  This encompasses more than just having a nice personality. It includes practicing non-judgment and expressing warmth and connection, cultivating trust and respect, and attending to the needs of students. Student responses:  “They say hi to you in the morning”, “They understand how you are feeling”, “They help you when you’re sad”, “Helps me when it looks like I don’t understand”, “Helps with friends”.

It is not always easy to be calm, clear, and kind in every moment. Particularly when we ourselves are stressed or busy. Fortunately for teachers, there is an inextricable link between being calm, clear, and kind and your own well-being.

In essence, what students say they need from their teachers may in fact be exactly what teachers need, as well. So, what can teachers do to show they care?

Ask students directly for what they need. Much can be learned by listening to students’ own voices—in research and practice.

Feel empowered in what you are already doing. So many teachers naturally show up in the ways their students need, in part by knowing the importance of truly listening to them. Students did not identify complicated teaching strategies or skills. Instead, they admit to needing their teachers to be present, warm, kind, and helpful, and to listen to them. So many teachers already put this at the forefront of their teaching and should feel empowered that they are already doing exactly what their students need.

Be kind to yourself. It is not easy to be calm, clear, or kind all the time. It is OK to not get it right all the time.

In the end…try to do your best to be calm, clear, and kind with your students and yourself. For many, this may just mean committing to be more intentional about trying to be mindful throughout the day. Or it could mean seeking out additional training or resources to help you build and strengthen your mindfulness muscles!