How Moms and Dads Watch Their Kids

This week's article summary is Dads Are Happier and Less Stressed Than Moms Because They Handle Childcare That's Fun.

I used this article as a springboard for discussion in a Dialogue for Dads session I had earlier in the year.

The positive from the article is fathers today do more with their kids than dads in previous generations. Yet fathers do a lot more of what is considered the fun part of childrearing like weekend recreational play/coaching/games and bedtime reading.

Moms are still primarily responsible for what the article calls ‘managerial’  and ‘solo’ parent duties.

I was intrigued by the article’s final paragraph that looked at how moms and dads continue to be viewed in a societal stereotypic manner. Fathers who play with their kids are lifted up, while moms in the workforce can be conflicted because they may feel they are not doing enough as parents. Dads get praise and accolades when they play with their kids but moms don’t  get the same praise if they work outside of the home and are responsible for the less glamorous aspects of parenting.

It is any wonder the researchers in the article find that dads are happy and fulfilled while moms are stressed!

Enjoy a hopefully stress-free Mother’s Day!

Joe

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As research has shown time and time again, moms tend to be more stressed out and less happier than dads—even despite reports suggesting the current generation of fathers play a more active role at home.

A new study sought to examine the context of how moms and dads care for their children.

During the study, researchers analyzed each childcare activity, using five dimensions: "activity type"—physical (eating and sleeping), recreational (play and sports), educational (helping with homework), and managerial (planning doctor visits or driving kids)—the amount of time spent doing the activity, the location, the amount of care involved, and the presence of any other people during that activity.

Researchers found that dads are more likely to oversee childcare activities that are recreational—like playing with kids, playing sports, doing arts and crafts, and reading to them—and that take place on the weekend. 

Moms are more likely to do "solo parenting," which is any type of childcare activity where there isn't a spouse or partner present, and do activities that involve an infant. 

In other words, dad does the fun stuff, while mom handles the not-so-fun stuff, like changing diapers, and usually all on her own.

The findings suggest that moms tend to be more tired and stressed out than dads are, and that moms are doing more childcare activities that lead to more stress down the line, and less happiness. Examples of this, we assume, are doing school drop-off and pickup, or being the one having to leave work, not their partner, if their kid is sick.

Based on the study, some aspects of parenting are more enjoyable than others and that the way childcare is distributed between mothers and fathers right now brings more emotional rewards for dads than for moms.

There was one area, however, that moms and dads had in common: both groups found caring for children to be highly meaningful, which supports previous research that suggests that today's dads are taking the whole parenting thing much more seriously.

The study did not determine if moms being stuck with the less enjoyable childcare activities is the result of personal choices or whether it's a reaction to outside forces like job demands, yet implies that it’s a combination of both.

Women have been socialized to believe that it's the mother's duty, not the father's, to take on the roles of primary caregiver and household manager. If a mom enters the workforce, she might feel guilty she's not with their kids, and if she chooses to stay at home, she might feel guilty for not having a career. Plus, the American workplace is generally not working-mom-friendly, and the U.S. is the only industrialized country without paid parental leave.