Pay Attention to Young Introverts

This week’s article summary is Why We Need to Pay Attention to Young Introverts.

My mom is an extreme extrovert while my dad, my wife, my kids, and I are all introverts. Whenever I go out with my mom—to a restaurant, shopping, etc.—she befriends every stranger she meets and by the end of a short conversation has made a friend for life. All the introverts in my family, including me, are always both in awe and in shock of my mom; to us quiet ones she seems to be from a different planet.

The article below—much like Susan Cain’s book Quiet—is a reminder that introverts need to be nurtured in schools. I especially like the point that being introverted does not necessarily mean being shy and timid. The article includes some recommendations for teachers in the classroom.

The article included a link to a quick Myers-Briggs Personality Type Assessment (100 questions and immediate results). According to this assessment, I am a ISTJ with a strong A (assertive versus turbulent).

• I’m more introverted 71% than extraverted
• More observant 65% than intuitive
• More thinker 56% than feeler
• More a judger (decision maker) 76% than prospector (idea generator and imaginer)

Even though Myers-Briggs has been debunked due to its lack of science and research foundation, I’ve always found it accurate in identifying the 16 personality types.  Through many years in many schools, I’ve taken a version of Myers-Briggs numerous times and my personality type consistently has been ISTJ.  Interestingly, however, being at Trinity (an elementary school  with of culture of collaboration including respect for others’ feelings), the one Myers-Briggs area that has moved for me is my feeling score, which has increased; I remain a thinker over a  feeler, yet Trinity has clearly influenced me.

Joe

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Extroverts make up 50%-75% of the population. On the other spectrum, 15%-50% of the population is made up of introverts.

The words introvert and extrovert were first introduced to society by Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung. Jung described introversion and extroversion as different ways we respond to the outside world. He described introverts as those who prefer small groups rather than large ones. He also stated introverts tend to enjoy quiet activities such as reading, writing, and thinking.

We have yet to see landmark changes in the workforce and within the education system that address the needs of an introvert to perform at his or her best ability. Providing balance among the different personalities can help bring forth the best possible resources, increase levels of compassion, and create the most tangible outcomes.

In the classroom or the boardroom, introverts can go unnoticed-especially when the most talkative leader or popular student runs the show.

During my time in education, I’ve heard many parents voice strong concerns about their quiet children. What many people don't realize is that there are significant differences between a shy and introverted person. The definition of shy is the following: being reserved, showing nervousness, or timidity in the company of other people. Introverts do not fit the definition of shy. Shy children have social fears and anxiety, while introverts prefer to work in environments with less stimulation. Young introverts flourish when they are let alone to think, write, build and innovate.

Most education systems still judge students based on social skills, test scores, class participation, and collaboration. And, we still tend to recognize extroverts as the next top leaders given their outspoken nature, sense of confidence, and comfort interacting with large groups. As a society, we tend to solely focus on design thinking, group work, meetings, and project collaboration. As the boardroom is parallel to classroom design, it can unfairly favor extroverts.

Myths About Introverts

Introverts are shy: An introvert is not shy or timid. There is a difference between being shy children and kids who are true introverts. Shy people usually stay away from different social situations due to anxiety or feelings of rejection. Introverts are not afraid of social events or people. They need a valid reason to engage in conversation.

Introverts don’t talk: They love talking about ideas that hold their interest. They also enjoy conversations with those who have similar interests. In large groups, they tend to listen more than talk. They can also spend time thinking about what to say before they share their insight. They tend to stay away from loud conversations based on an impulsive reaction. They take time to evaluate, construct and share their opinions.

Introverts believe they are above others: An introvert may appear this way, but this is not true. However, most likely they are taking in and digesting more information. They don't tend to view themselves above others.

Introverts don’t enjoy being around people: They enjoy being around people. However, they may limit their time with others because they physically tolerate less than extroverts. Spending more than two hours at a loud social event can be exhausting for an introvert, while an entire night out with friends may not be enough for an extrovert to feel at his or her best.

Introverts don’t like to go out in public or attend social events: Yes, they do. However, they like to spend their time solving problems, reading books, and working on different projects. They are content with their thoughts and ideas. They thrive on discovery, research, the arts, and writing. Introverts can quickly judge situations, and usually don’t feel the desire or have the energy to socialize for hours on end.

Introverts can be tedious: They may not be that exciting to an extrovert, as their needs are significantly different. However, they are passionate, practical, and usually come in with fresh ideas, projects, and new developments within their busy minds.

Introverts should change to fit the expectations of our society: They should never change, nor can they change physically. Many of our greatest leaders and inventors are introverts. We should embrace their uniqueness and leave them to flourish. We should welcome their talents, respect their needs, and let them grow into who they are intended to be.

Things you can do as a parent or educator to support young, introverted entrepreneurs:

• Provide opportunities for students to learn and share in their own ways
• Do not force group work. Let introverted students choose their best path for optimal performance
• Give all students a place to respect each other and demonstrate that it's okay to be on the quiet side or communicate often-there is no wrong way.
• Realize that every student will not be a social butterfly, and that's okay too.

Don’t force students to be a ‘people person’ or refer to them as socially challenged. There is nothing socially, emotionally, or developmentally wrong with an introverted student.

• Celebrate the differences in behaviors within your class.
• Give introverts and extroverts the space and time to grow.

Respect your students or child's different characteristic traits, listen to them, and guide appropriately.

Don’t try and change an introvert, as this comes with great consequence.