The Myth of Self Control

This week’s article summary is The Myth of Self Control.

In a couple of weeks, many of us will make resolutions for the New Year. Then by mid to late January, most of those resolutions will have been guiltily forgotten, neglected, and then hidden away only to be recycled at the start of 2018.

But, as the article attests, those of us who always seem to fall prey to temptation are not morally weak. 

Similarly those who resist temptation are not morally superior.

Emerging research reveals some interesting reasons why some of us can while others can’t seem to resist temptation—and these findings have implications for our classrooms.

I’m one of those who can resist temptation. 

As a kid, I could easily walk by my Christmas presents under the tree, overcoming the urge to pick up one and shake it to try to determine its contents. 

Unlike my sister, I could save up money from my allowance for a future bigger purchase. 

In college I never missed an 8:00 am classes; in fact, as unbelievable as this may seem, I never cut a single class in college.

If I had been a participant in the famous marshmallow experiment on resisting temptation, I would have avoided eating one then so I would be rewarded with more later.

But as the article points out, I shouldn’t feel so high and mighty and proud about my uncanny willpower.

First, those of us who have strong self control inherited it—willpower and self restraint are part of our genetic makeup.

Second, as self control is natural for some of us, we from a very young age begin to develop habits that make self control easier. For example, when I walked by my Christmas presents, I didn’t even look at them and thought about something other than Christmas and presents.

Third, again because self control is natural for some of us, we tend to enjoy doing things that require self control. I know exercising and watching what I eat are good for me, so I actually enjoy doing both. 

In education there has been a lot of conversation about fostering grit, executive function skills, and self regulation in students as these skills and habits are important components to future academic and life success--and even to overall happiness. 

And consequently, teachers have been formally teaching them to their students.

But current research is putting a crimp on whether our deliberate instruction about self control, self regulation, and persistence really works for those who by nature are not as programmed for willpower.

Instead, emerging research recommends (the article suggests ’temptation bundling’ as one option) we help provide scaffolding for those who just can’t help themselves and who give into temptation quickly and easily.

It’s why the anti-drug mantra from the 80s “just say no” was so ineffectual and simplistic—some of us by nature can say no, others need more than a banal saying.

This article made me rethink a lot of personal and professional beliefs I had about self control.

Joe

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As the Bible tells it, the first crime committed was a lapse of self-control. Eve was forbidden from tasting the fruit on the tree of knowledge. But the temptation was too much.

 Humanity was just days old, but already we were succumbing to a vice.

The takeaway is clear: when temptation overcomes willpower, it’s a moral failing, worthy of punishment.

Well, was true at the beginning of time remains true today: Human beings are horrible at resisting temptation.

Yet, emerging research makes a strong case that we shouldn’t feel so bad when we fall for temptations.

Studies have found that trying to teach people to resist temptation either only has short-term gains or can be an outright failure.

If we could stop worshiping self-control, maybe we could start thinking about diluting the power of temptation — and helping people meet their goals in new ways with less effort.

Many of us assume that if we want to make big changes in our lives, we have to sweat for it.

But if, for example, the change is to eat fewer sweets, and then you find yourself in front of a pile of cookies, researchers say the pile of cookies has already won.

Our prototypical model of self-control is an angel on one side and the devil on the other, and they battle it out.

We tend to think of people with strong willpower as people who are able to fight this battle effectively, when actually the people who are really good at self-control never have these battles in the first place.

So who are these people who are rarely tested by temptations? And what can we learn from them? There are a few overlapping lessons from this new science:

People who are better at self-control actually enjoy the activities some of us resist— like eating healthy, studying, or exercising.

So engaging in these activities isn’t a chore for them. It’s fun.

If you run to get in shape, but find running to be a miserable activity, you’re probably not going to keep it up.

People who are good at self-control have learned better habits

Recent studies show that people who are good at self-control also tend to have good habits — like exercising regularly, eating healthy, sleeping well, and studying.

People who are good at self-control seem to structure their lives in a way to avoid having to make a self-control decision in the first place. And structuring your life is a skill. People who do the same activity — like running — at the same time each day have an easier time accomplishing their goals. Not because of their willpower, but because the routine makes it easier.

A trick to wake up more quickly in the morning is to set the alarm on the other side of the room. That’s not in-the-moment willpower at play. It’s planning.

This theory harks back to one of the classic studies on self-control: the “marshmallow test,” conducted in the 1960s and ’70s, where kids were told they could either eat one marshmallow sitting in front of them immediately or eat two later. The ability to resist was found to correlate with all sorts of positive life outcomes, like SAT scores and BMIs. But the kids who were best at the test weren’t necessarily intrinsically better at resisting temptation. They employed a critical strategy.

The crucial factor in delaying gratification is the ability to change your perception of the object or action you want to resist. Kids who avoided eating the first marshmallow would find ways not to look it or imagine it as something else.

Some people just experience fewer temptations

Our dispositions are determined in part by our genetics. People high in conscientiousness — a personality trait largely set by genetics — tend to be more vigilant students and tend to be healthier. When it comes to self-control, they won the genetic lottery.

There are many ways of achieving successful self-control, but we’ve really only been looking at one of them: effortful restraint.

One area being researched is “temptation bundling,” in which people make activities more enjoyable by adding a fun component to them—like watching a movie while running on a treadmill.

Researchers are looking beyond the “just say no” approach of the past to boost motivation with the help of smartphone apps and other technology.

This is not to say all effortful restraint is useless, but rather that it should be seen as a last-ditch effort to save ourselves from bad behavior.