Parenting Habits to Break

This week’s article summary is 5 Bad Parenting Habits to Break. 

There is nothing overly surprising or earth shattering about the advice below, yet the simple recommendations are challenging to break for any parent. 

As I've written about this year, parenting today is tougher than it was a generation ago because today’s societal norms emphasize more instant gratification, climate-controlled satisfaction, and perpetual happiness for children. It’s more difficult for parents to say no in an age that has lost sight of what ‘no’ means. 

Parents’ goals for their children today (as articulated by Madeline Levine) remain the same as in previous generations: develop a clear sense of self, i.e., independence; exhibit success through a strong work ethic of persistence and resilience; and develop friendships, i.e., learn to work with others. These three qualities then help support  young adults who see the significance to and belonging in their lives. 

As outlined in Parenting for Character, parenting requires the delicate balance of demandingness (setting high expectations for behavior and requiring kids live up to them) and responsiveness (providing support as kids strive to reach high standards and express love).

Awareness of the 'bad habits' below is one way parents can help children develop that sense of self and belonging. 

Joe

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Following are 5 bad parenting habits that the parents should break now.

Buying them everything they ask for: Buying your kids everything they want is really a bad habit that you need to break now. You love your children and you want them to be happy as much as possible. So you shower them with a slew of gifts but this is actually not good at all. Your kids won’t learn the value of money, which is very hard to earn during this difficult time. If your children want something really badly, it should be better for you to let them earn it by themselves. You can suggest they do some jobs around your house to earn the pocket money to purchase it.

Screaming, yelling and nagging: Parents have to face stresses of life every day and that usually makes them deal with high emotional situations by screaming and yelling. In addition, they often want things to be done to their liking and thus they put that pressure onto their kids. Your children learn by seeing and watching. Try to talk calmly and stop nagging your children in all situations so that your kids will react to conflict situations in the same way.

Having unrealistic expectations: A lot of parents feel their kids’ success is a reflection on them. They have high expectations for their children. This can harm the kids because it can batter their confidence. Your kids can also end up with symptoms of stress.

Ignoring: Apart from pushing your kids too hard and buying them everything they want, ignoring is another bad parenting habit to avoid and stop. This can make your children feel unworthy and damage their self-confidence. So try to spend enough time with them and give them the attention and love that they deserve. It can help in building a strong foundation for a lasting relationship.

Being over-protective: As a parent, you want the best for your children and can do everything to keep them safe. However, if you constantly protect them, it may hinder their growth. So every once in a while, you should let them make a mistake so that they can learn from it and be strong.