Enjoy Holiday Break

This week's article summary is How One Sentence Can Change Your Life.

Holiday break is a much-needed time during the school year for a re-set. 

Spring Break — and obviously, Summer — are the two other times when we have time to take a few deep breaths, practice self-care, and re-energize our professional batteries.

But to me Holiday Break is special in that the re-focus is about gearing up for the second half of the year, like a water break at the 13-mile marker of a marathon.

My annual mid-year re-set includes attitudinal re-centering.

Below is an article with inspiring quotes that helped people refocus their attitude toward the bigger picture and not to let life’s frustrations, anger, stress, or disappointment get the better of them.

Over the next few weeks when you find a few spare moments of solitude and self-reflection, think about which of the quotes below could be a mantra you use to re-orient yourself when the outside pressures of life try to get you down.

Enjoy the holidays with family, friends, and hopefully some alone time!

Joe

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There’s nothing quite like having a breakthrough moment. When you hear something that completely reframes how you view a challenging life situation that helps you move past the barrier and into a new headspace, it can be exhilarating.

 "Breakthrough is that moment when frustration, struggling, fear, worry, or anxiety disappears,” famed personal development coach Tony Robbins once said. “It's a moment of insight, recognition about who you are, and the realization that you are more than the moment. It's a radical, massive improvement in the quality of your life, and as a result, all those you have the privilege to touch."

 Here are some words of advice sentences that changed people’s lives.

Sometimes when you’re in a dark place, you think you’ve been buried, but you’ve actually been planted: This is a spin on an old saying, They tried to bury us, but they didn't realize we were seeds.

Never try to hate anyone; often they don't care, and you're left doing all the work: Said by a friend of mine at a very critical time in my life. It's been said in other ways, but that one stuck with me for the last 35+ years. Makes me think of this gem: Never get in a fight with a pig. You both get covered in sh*t but the pig enjoys it. Hate corrodes the vessel it's carried in.

Have you had a bad day, or did you have a bad 5 minutes that you let ruin your day? I need someone to remind me of this sometimes! I'm not neurotypical and I can tell sometimes that when things can't go to my plan or agreed schedule it can be like a monkey wrench in a gear and just PAUSE my life in a way I hate sometimes.

People are quick to accept that the smallest change in the past can dramatically change the present, yet refuse to accept that the smallest action today can completely change the world: Hindsight’s 20/20 as they say, and it’s easier to know the difference between the outcome compared to the present. Whereas our current actions, we really have no way of knowing how it’ll affect the future, as there are so many other variables that could affect things, and we can’t see into the future.

Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm: This reminds of an African proverb Beware the naked man who offers you clothes.

 I love you enough to let you hate me

 Nothing is going to be different unless you do things differently: Nothing changes if nothing changes!

Living well is the best revenge: Instead of making yourself miserable stewing over the past, improve your life and make yourself happy. For the people that hate you, or just generally dislike you, there's nothing worse than seeing you be happy. If someone hurts you on purpose, you don't need to try and hurt them back, if you become obsessed with them, then they've won, but being happy and leading a good life is the best revenge you could have, because they'll hate to see it. If you can't love yourself for you, love yourself just out of spite towards the people who would bring you down.

Don't let perfect be the enemy of good enough

Acceptance is the answer: When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation—some fact of my life—unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. I was so consumed with everything that was wrong around me. It made me start looking at and adjusting myself instead. I can only control me.

You never know what someone is going through, always be kind: Always react with kindness. It costs you nothing and can make most situations much better.

Righty tighty, lefty loosey: Sometimes it’s the banal reminders that ground me!

The price of procrastination is the life you could have lived.

Let today be the day you learn the grace of letting go, and the power of moving on.

 

Girls and Boys Solve Math Problems Differently

This week's article summary is Girls and Boys Solve Math Problems Differently.

The big takeaway from this article is while girls typically get better grades in math classes—particularly in elementary and middle school--more boys than girls end up in jobs that requires math.

Girls have a greater tendency to follow the mathematical procedures taught by their teacher while boys are much more willing to be experimental and creative in devising their own methods and strategies for solving math problems.

This adventurousness of boys is advantageous when to comes to dealing with increasingly complex and multi-step math problems.

Certainly, there are other factors at work: for example, girls tend to be compliant in class and deferential to the teacher.

The pedagogy Trinity employs for teaching math emphasizes creative problem solving. We challenge students (both girls and boys) to find multiple ways to solve problems, helping to build deeper conceptual understanding. This deeper understanding of math concepts increases a student's confidence and flexibility when they encounter more complex math concepts and problems.

Joe

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Among high school students and adults, girls and women are much more likely to use traditional, step-by-step algorithms to solve basic math problems – such as lining up numbers to add, starting with the ones place, and “carrying over” a number when needed. 

Boys and men are more likely to use alternative shortcuts, such as rounding both numbers, adding the rounded figures, and then adjusting to remove the rounding.

Those who use traditional methods on basic problems are less likely to solve more complex math problems correctly. 

These are the main findings of two studies published in November 2025.

This new evidence may help explain an apparent contradiction in the existing research: girls do far better at math in school, but boys do better on high-stakes math tests and are more likely to pursue math intensive careers. 

Boys and girls approach math problems differently, in ways that persist into adulthood.

In a recent study of U.S. elementary students, boys outnumbered girls 4 to1 among the top 1% of scorers on national math tests. And over many decades, boys have been about twice as likely as girls to be among the top scorers on the SAT and AP math exams.

However, girls tend to be more diligent in elementary school and get better grades in math class throughout their schooling. 

When older adults think of math, they may recall memorizing times tables or doing the tedious, long-division algorithm. Memorization and rule-following can pay off on math tests focused on procedures taught in school, but more advanced math involves solving new, perplexing problems rather than following the rules.

In looking at studies of young children, the research team was struck by findings that young boys use more inventive strategies on computation problems, whereas girls more often use standard algorithms or counting. 

We suspected that girls’ tendency to use algorithms might stem from greater social pressure toward compliance, including complying with traditional teacher expectations. The research showed that girls were more likely to report a desire to please teachers, such as by completing work as directed. Those who said they did have that desire used the standard algorithm more often.

We identified some factors that may play a role in these gender differences, including spatial-thinking skills, which may help people develop alternate calculations approaches. Anxiety about taking tests and perfectionism, both more prevalent among women, may also be a factor.

While compliant behavior and standard math methods often lead to correct answers and good grades in school, we believe schools should prepare all students – regardless of gender – for when they face unfamiliar problems that require inventive problem-solving skills, whether in daily life, on high-stakes tests or in math-intensive professions.

Improvement in Youth Mental Health

This week's article summary is The Good News About the Youth Mental Health Crisis.

Particularly after the Covid pandemic, the mental health crisis in youths around the world has been in the spotlight.

While adolescence--at least since the 1950s when the idea of teen culture began--has included inevitable angst and self-doubt, the world today seems more dangerous and unpredictable. It used to be a given that the next generation in America would aspire and often achieve a higher quality of life than the previous one — especially when it came to material things like houses, cars, etc. The belief in continuous progress and increasing wealth is gone.

With more competition, not just from other people but from AI too, internal and external pressure to be perfect and excel in all things all the time, anxiety about the future, more online than in-person time, and politicians/social media influencers who often spew hateful, polarizing messages, the world today is more troubling than in previous generations.

All this uncertainty has had an adverse effect on today’s youth: anxiety, loneliness, depression.

Although many of us believe that teens are heading toward even deeper, darker abyss of emotional turmoil, the article below is a hopeful sign that adolescents in the aggregate may be starting to feel better about themselves and their future.

Part of the reason is that we adults, especially parents and teachers, have been more attuned to their needs and are more sensitive to their psychological well-being. For example, many of the schools our alums matriculate to have gone lighter on homework and overall academic workload. 

Part of it also may be that kids today recognize that to change the world for the better, they need to take more initiative and not entrust the older generation to shape the future. Think of the recent New York City mayoral election which was dramatically impacted by young voters.

Clearly the crisis isn’t over, and kids of all ages need our attention, empathy, compassion, and guidance; yet I am glad to see that that the data is moving in a positive direction regarding adolescent mental health.

Joe

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If there’s one settled fact about life online, it’s that negativity gets more attention than positivity. As one study of more than 100,000 headlines found, negative stories receive far more interest than positive ones. 

Which is why you probably haven’t yet heard the good news about the youth mental health crisis. 

The youth mental health crisis is real. The fact that young people have been struggling emotionally has earned extensive coverage for at least a half-decade, with good reason. Rates of anxiety and depression shot up among youth over the last several years. Horrifyingly, the suicide rate for 10- to 24-year-olds jumped 62 percent from 2007 to 2021. 

The numbers were so alarming that in 2021 the American Academy of Pediatrics, American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, and Children’s Hospital Association jointly declared a national emergency in child and adolescent mental health. That same year the U.S. Surgeon General issued a youth mental health advisory.

This wasn’t media overreaction. Young people really have been struggling mightily. But amid this tornado of alarming news, and with the internet’s baseline preference for negativity, it’s easy for glimmers of hope to get lost. 

Which is why most of us haven’t yet heard that the youth mental health crisis is showing signs of improvement.

That’s the message of a recent article in Greater Good Magazine by Anya Kamenetz. When it comes to young people’s mental health, “things have been looking up in many ways,” Kamenetz writes. “And while there are certainly still disparities and major gaps to be addressed, the incipient positive turn in youth well-being is not receiving the same amount of attention as the negative trendlines before it.” 

What are these underreported green shoots of good news? 

Kamenetz mentions several: 

• Data shows a two-year uptick in college students who are flourishing for the first time since 2012.
• Other sources indicate a small decrease in reported loneliness and anxiety among young people.
• Numbers from Health’s Youth Mental Health Tracker showed four-in-five reported being satisfied with life, happy, and feeling that what they do in life is meaningful in 2024.  
• In July 2024 94 percent of 10- to 18-year-olds told Gallup that they felt happiness “a lot” the previous day. 
• The National Institutes of Health reported an unprecedented trend in the reduction of illicit substance use among teenagers in 2024.

Taken together, all these data points paint a picture of young people who, while still worried about their future and the world’s many problems, are feeling slightly better overall. 

The data suggest something real has shifted. But at this early stage it’s not entirely clear what that is. Covid and all its attendant traumas slowly receding into the rearview mirror certainly can’t hurt. Kamenetz also suggests that the attention on youth mental health may have driven resources and funding towards the problem. 

Whatever the causes, these hopeful signs are encouraging. But that doesn’t mean we should declare “job done” and pop the champagne. 

There is still a lot of suffering out there, particularly among LGBTQ+, minority, and economically disadvantaged youth, Kamenetz stresses. We have a long way to go to help everyone who needs support. But it is important to notice success so we can build on them. 

There is another reason to notice and applaud signs that a turnaround in youth mental health is underway. All the recent doom and gloom on the subject in itself might be contributing to young people’s mental health issues.

Northwestern University psychology professors Vijay Mittal and Renee Engeln recently argued in theWall Street Journal that the attention given to the youth mental health crisis may be accidentally making it worse.

“The growing focus on students’ anxiety and depression, while well-intentioned, may be making psychological distress seem inevitable. Instead of fostering a supportive community for adolescent and young-adult students with mental-health concerns, we may be reinforcing a false and destructive belief that misery is universal among young people,” they warn.

Panicked headlines about sad teenagers may have inadvertently conveyed the message that, if you are a thoughtful, aware, kind kid, you will also inevitably be a miserable one. That messaging could nudge young people to over focus and even pathologize negative emotions that are a normal part of human life. 

“Emotions are contagious. When students internalize the idea that suffering is the norm, that norm—even when inaccurate—can foster a culture of misery,” the psychologists worry. 

Raising the alarm about suffering young people was the right thing to do. You need to know about a problem in order to solve it. But given what attracts most eyeballs in the media, it’s important to trumpet positive developments too. 

For one, we all need more positivity (and factual accuracy) in our lives. Plus, good news is energizing. If you see that your efforts are having an impact, you’ll likely be driven to work even harder. Finally, negativity can become a self-reinforcing cycle.

Teens who think being young means guaranteed mental health woes are more vulnerable to suffering. Thankfully, that’s not what the latest data says. 

Yes, the kids have been going through a very rocky patch. But evidence suggests things are starting to look a little more positive for youth mental health. Serious psychological suffering need not be an inevitable part of being young.  

Play-Based Learning is Making a Comeback

 This week’s article summary is 'Play-Based Learning in Kindergarten is Making a Comeback.'

The article traces the decline of play-based learning in early elementary grades since the passage of No Child Left Behind legislation in the early 2000s. The intent behind the law was to improve student learning by increasing the ‘rigor' in school.

Unfortunately, when non-educators attempt to improve student learning, they typically implement old-fashioned, ineffective methods: more solitary seat work, more direct time on task, more rote learning, more testing.

Especially in public schools, this has become the dominant pedagogy in early elementary grades. 

This change not surprisingly hasn’t improved student learning, but it has left many kids bored and disconnected from school . As a result, play-based learning is making a comeback in some public elementary schools. (I write ‘public schools’ because a lot of private-independent schools like Trinity never abandoned play-based learning.)

The benefits of play-based learning are manifold: student empowerment and engagement; social-emotional development, e.g., self-confidence, working with others; increased student learning (see the study described in the article).

But, while play-based learning from the 1960s was by design unstructured, today’s focus is more on what’s now called playful learning or guided play: teachers as diligent observers who as needed help guide and facilitate student learning.

As admissions season is upon us, our message to prospective parents is Trinity allows students -- even older ones – the opportunity to play, explore, and discover, and that our faculty provide classroom activities that are meaningful and relevant to their students’ developmental level. There is always intentionality behind the fun and joy of learning!

Our students perform well on standardized tests, not because we teach to the test but because of how we teach our students.

Joe

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Over the past 20 years, imaginative play areas that once occupied a dominant part of the kindergarten landscape—think dress-up corners, easels and paints, stacks of blocks—have, in many instances, been replaced with literacy corners and science centers. Getting along with classmates and learning to follow simple instructions from a teacher also have been sidelined as the primary goals of kindergarten. Now, most kindergarten teachers are focused primarily on preparing young learners for future academic success.

The changes have not gone unnoticed by educators, parents, and policymakers.

“What I was noticing as a kindergarten teacher is that the opportunities for kids to come in and have chances to play, to experiment and test how the world works, were being pushed out for more academic instruction that wasn’t necessarily aligned with where their skill levels were or the experiences they had,” said Christopher Brown, the associate dean for teacher education at the University of Buffalo’s Graduate School of Education and a former kindergarten teacher. “That’s continued to be a concern with teachers that I’ve talked to for the past 20 years.

Decision makers in some states and districts have begun to heed concerns raised by Brown and other education experts about the direction kindergarten has taken. As a result, some schools are returning play to its prominent role in kindergarten.

As Brown noted, teachers have been raising concerns about changes to kindergarten for two decades. That time frame coincides with the passage of No Child Left Behind, the federal education law in place from January 2002 to December 2015. The law, which sought to improve public education for all children, led to an increase in standardized instruction and accountability measures related to academic achievement.

The pressure schools felt for their students to perform academically trickled down to even the earliest grades.

Nesbitt attributes the pressure to ensure that students are performing on grade level to the rise in what she calls “passive, didactic, large-group instruction” in grades as early as kindergarten.

“Nobody wants to not see students being able to read at grade level or be at grade level in math,” said Nesbitt. Still, she said, this goal inadvertently may have led schools to “push down” expectations that were not developmentally appropriate for young students.

In several states, children begin taking standardized assessments throughout the school year as early as kindergarten.

In recent years, some educators have begun to push back against the “academization” of kindergarten. These voices have gotten the attention of state policymakers; in turn, a few states have begun to push for a return to play in kindergarten. One new state law read: “Educators shall create a learning environment that facilitates high quality, child-directed experiences based upon early childhood best teaching practices and play-based learning that comprise movement, creative expression, exploration, socialization, and music.”

Free, or unstructured, play retains an important place in the kindergarten classroom, believe some education experts. It allows children to explore, imagine, and socialize independently. But it’s generally not been tied to any specific academic goals.

“I love free play, and free play has its own rights. It’s great for social development. It’s great for helping kids build their confidence,” Nesbitt said. “But it’s not going to organically, on its own, teach kids how to read.”

So, schools are starting to adopt play-based or playful learning, in which teachers guide students in playful activities designed to grow specific skills. For example, when students are building with blocks, the teacher could ask facilitating questions like, “What do you think will happen if you add this heavier block on top?”

Play-based learning can boost students’ academic skills, research shows. A 2022 review of 39 studies that compared guided play to direct instruction (when a teacher delivers clearly defined, planned lessons in a prescribed manner) in children up to 8 years old found that guided play has a more significant positive impact than direct instruction on early math skills, shape knowledge, and being able to switch from one task to another.

But kindergarten isn’t just about acquiring academic skills, note education experts. Play-based learning also has the potential to help teach young learners lifelong skills.

“A lot of people are leaning heavily into the importance of play-based learning for the kinds of soft skills they can teach. I call them unconstrained skills,” Nesbitt said. “These are the skills that are not based on content-specific knowledge but rather, things like: How do we teach kids to collaborate with each other? How do we teach kids to be good communicators? How do we help them be critical and creative thinkers? How do we give them the motivation to want to be a learner?”

Digital Media's Influence on Boys

This week's article summary is Digital Culture is Defining Boyhood, and it's a follow-up to a recent summary, which focused on how boys today are exposed to anti-social attitudes/behaviors by social media influencers.

Like last week’s recommendations, this article stresses the importance of boys (and girls as well) having strong, trusting relationships with peers and role models, especially teachers, coaches, and parents.

The author recommends that rather than demonize technology, parents need to guide their children to appropriate technology use. Most boys like to play video games and watch YouTube and TikTok videos. By trying to ban tech use, parents make the forbidden more desirable. Helping kids become skeptical of what they see and experience online, talking about the ambiguities and complexities of the real world, and facilitating face-to-face relationships and discussions will support boys’ growth and development into becoming productive, purposeful adults.

As they move from childhood into adolescence, both boys and girls need to know they matter, belong, and are loved.

I remember my two boys in high school being a thorn in the side of my wife and me, just as I was a pain to my parents when I was a teenager; yet no adult every gave up on my kids or me, even showing care and patience as we discovered who we were going to be as adults.

Caring and understanding teaching and parenting will always supersede social media.

Joe

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When you think about who teaches boys what it means to “be a man,” you probably picture parents, teachers, or maybe coaches.

But a new Common Sense Media report, Boys in the Digital Wild: Online Culture, Identity, and Well-Being, finds that for today’s kids, it’s more likely to be algorithms, influencers, and gaming culture.

The report shows how social media feeds, YouTube channels, and multiplayer games are quietly — yet powerfully — shaping how boys see themselves. The findings highlight the good, the bad, and the complicated realities of growing up male online.

According to the report, three-quarters of boys regularly encounter masculinity-related content online. Messages about “making money” (44 percent), “building muscle” (39 percent), and “fighting or weapons” (35 percent) show up repeatedly, especially for older teens.

Talk To Your Boys author Christopher Pepper says these findings echo what he’s seen in classrooms and in his work with young men’s groups.

“It was striking to see how much algorithms drive boys’ exposure to posts about masculinity. 68 percent of boys who see such material online say it started showing up in their feed without them searching for it,” Pepper. “Adults need to know that as soon as tween and teen boys go online, these algorithms recognize who they are and start promoting a whole set of content to them, and very little of it is designed to help them feel good about themselves or connect well with others.”  

Common Sense Media‘s past research found teens spent an average of 8.5 hours per day on screens (not counting schoolwork).

The report found that over two-thirds of boys (69 percent) regularly see content reinforcing outdated gender roles: that girls only want to date certain kinds of guys, that girls use their looks to get what they want, that boys are treated unfairly compared to girls.

Exposure to this content shifts how boys handle emotions. Those with high exposure are nearly four times more likely to believe sharing worries makes them look weak (40 percent vs. 11 percent of low-exposure boys). Half say they hide hurt feelings from friends.

26 percent say they feel lonely, and loneliness is significantly more common among those immersed in masculinity content online. Lonely boys hang out less often in person and are less likely to join activities that could help them feel connected.

“Right from the beginning, we kind of socialize boys away from connection and away from intimacy,” adds Ruth Whippman, author of Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity. “Boys are every bit as emotionally complex as girls are, and we should engage with them in that way.”

To avoid teasing, nearly half of boys (46 percent) believe they must not cry, show sadness, or show fear to avoid being teased. More than a third believe they shouldn’t act “gay” or “feminine.” Online culture reinforces these rules, making it even harder for boys to express themselves authentically.

While most boys still say they’d turn to parents first in a tough time, the pull of influencers is undeniable: 60 percent say creators inspire them, and 56 percent say influencers give them practical help. Nearly half of boys most exposed to masculinity content credit an influencer with helping them through something difficult.

Pepper notes, “If you’re frustrated with how your son is using technology, or worried about who they are listening to online, rather than being loud and angry about it, try to use a strategic approach. Ask open-ended questions about what’s so compelling about the video game they love, or why it’s so hard to stop playing. This is a key time to emphasize connection — boys can look up to people they don’t know, but they still need close, caring adults in their lives. We shouldn’t let online voices control the whole conversation.”

Pepper emphasizes that connection is the cornerstone. “As this report details, a lot of day-to-day time in the lives of boys and young men involves technology — and it’s mostly on devices that they use on their own, with headphones. That means it can take real work to know what’s going on in your child’s life,” he says. “It’s so important for parents to make a concerted effort to stay connected and offer guidance. We see a lot of parents backing off from involved parenting when their boys get to middle school or high school, and that’s a real misstep. Instead, we need to tune in to our boys and young men, really looking for moments to connect.”

Other things parents can (and should) do:

• Talk about algorithms: Ask what videos pop up in their feeds, and explain how platforms push content they didn’t choose
• Normalize emotional expression: Let boys see adults — especially dads and male role models — express sadness, worry, or vulnerability
• Address body image directly: Discuss unrealistic expectations online, and remind them that appearance doesn’t equal worth
• Stay curious about influencers: Ask who they follow and why, and guide them toward positive voices
• Strengthen offline support: Prioritize real-world friendships, family time, and activities where boys feel accepted for who they are.

The big takeaway? Parents still matter enormously — but they have to speak up and stay connected, because digital culture is filling in the silence. The digital wild can be overwhelming, but with parents in the mix, boys don’t have to navigate it alone.

What's Going On with Boys?

This week's summary is What's Going On with Boys? It was written by an independent school teacher who’s a parent of a young girl and a younger boy.

The article provides an overview of the gradual decline over the past 15-20 years of boys’ academic performance in schools.

The prevailing culture of school today is often a mismatch for a lot of boys. 

First, boys’ brains mature later than girls, even in the preschool years. Girls on average have an easier time adjusting to the expectations of school, especially the emphasis on self-regulation, attention, and self-control.

Second, boys are generally more physical than girls, yet most school classrooms, particular in public schools, over the past 20 years have become more sedentary environments with little movement or recess time.

Third, with the ubiquity of technology, boys out of school spend a lot of time playing video games and are susceptible to social influencers who may espouse anti-social, misogynistic, hyper-masculine beliefs. Hence, boys can fall victim to dangerously poor role models.

Fourth, boys’ lack of readiness (both academically and social-emotionally) results in them lagging behind girls from early on in school. The current college graduation rate of female (60%) versus male (40%) is sobering evidence.

While there are no simple solutions for this, a very important need to help boys in school is the development and constant presence of strong relationships with their teachers. And the author reminds us that ultimately it’s up to us adults to develop these relationships. Some ways to do this are for teachers to show an interest in what boys do outside of school, to provide scaffolding to support boys’ emotional development, to allow some latitude for boys’ (mis)behavior, and to make all students a partner in expected classroom behavior.

At Trinity, we are clearly at an advantage in that many of the above recommendations are already utilized by our teachers.

Still, all of us need to be more mindful of the difference between boys and girls and avoid the negative bias about boys.

Joe

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When my daughter started kindergarten in 2021, she came home with stories about her new and wonderful experiences: what she was learning, who her teachers were, what the other kids were like. Almost within days, she began telling me another part of the story. 

“The boys are always in trouble,” she’d say.

“The boys are always at the teacher’s desk.” 

“The boys are so loud and distracting, I can’t concentrate sometimes.”

I began to worry about my then 3-year-old son. What was in store for him in two years’ time?

As both a parent and an educator, I felt compelled to answer this question: What’s going on with boys in school?” And as I researched and learned, the answer became clear: Boys are not doing as well in school as girls. 

In Of Boys and Men, Richard Reeves provides evidence to back up this claim. Boys are twice as likely as girls to say that school is a waste of time, three times more likely to be expelled, and two times more likely to be suspended. In reading, girls are ahead by about one grade level, and reading and verbal skills are a strong predictor of college matriculation. So it should come as no surprise that young men attend and graduate from college much less often than young women. In 1972, 57% of college graduates were men; by 2022, only 42% of college graduates were men.

As I learned more and more about these alarming trends, I reflected on how rarely schools have explored issues that affect boys. By understanding what’s going on with boys—how their brains develop and what they are experiencing in today’s world—we can meet the moment to provide effective support for boys’ success inside and outside the classroom. 

One clue to help us understand what’s going on with boys in school lies in the significant differences in the timing of brain development of boys and girls. The first major gap in brain development occurs around kindergarten. One study shows that by age 5, girls are 14% more likely to be school-ready than boys. In Raising Cain, Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson describe typical young boys as having “high activity, impulsivity, and physicality.” This behavior is “often seen by teachers as something that must be overcome for a boy to succeed in school.” 

So from their very first school days, many boys are starting off on the wrong foot. This is exacerbated by female teachers being more likely than male teachers to view boys in their class as disruptive, while male teachers tend to have a more positive view of boys and their capabilities.

The gap between girls’ and boys’ brain development widens drastically during puberty. A typical girl’s prefrontal cortex matures about two years before a typical boy’s. The prefrontal cortex plays a role in planning, strategy, and executive decisions, inhibiting primal survival responses, and regulating emotional states. This offset in brain development and executive function has a direct impact on boys’ educational outcomes. Study after study suggests that the best-performing students are ‘good’ students … who have high levels of self-regulation, which is exactly the area where boys display, on average, a deficit compared to girls during adolescence. 

In The Anxious Generation, Jonathan Haidt, identifies two other sources of boys’ recent struggles in school: diminishing independence and free play; and massive amounts of time online, playing video games, using social media, and learning about masculinity from what is called “the manosphere”—a miasma of bloggers and influencers often hostile to women and feminism. Manosphere influencers have large followings including teen boys. They advocate a limited vision of what it means to be a man. According to a recent report “the more a man subscribes to cultural norms about manhood that support emotional repression, self-reliance, dominance, and control, the less mentally strong and adaptable he is.” The more likely he is to have higher rates of depression, anxiety, and bullying and sexual harassment of women.

In the face of these challenges, what can schools do? A study concluded that teachers need to cultivate a positive relationship with their boys. Even when boys make this challenging, it is crucial that educators overcome their own frustration and remind themselves that the relationship is their responsibility, not the boys’. 

The study painted a picture of a successful independent school teacher of boys, one who: employs transitive teaching (“the capacity of some element in the lesson … to hold student attention in a way that leads to understanding and mastery;” builds a strong relationship; shares a common interest; accommodates a measure of opposition; is willing to reveal vulnerability; and holds students to high standards.

Alongside the academic program, schools must also reconsider advisory, counseling, and co-curricular programs with boys in mind. Schools must provide the space, instruction, and practice so that boys can develop a wide-ranging emotional vocabulary to both understand themselves better and communicate their feelings more effectively. For boys of all ages, we should constructively channel their high activity level and give them positive ways to express it. 

These are the first steps in a journey to help boys identify and create what Reeves calls “a prosocial masculinity.” Kindlon and Thompson suggest several concrete strategies for formulating this identity: Talk to boys in ways that honor their pride; be direct with them; cast them as partners in problem-solving; teach them emotional courage; use discipline to build character, not to alienate or humiliate; model and practice emotional attachment; and teach boys that there are many ways to be a man. 

My journey into understanding the struggles boys are facing in schools today started from a personal place of concern for my son, but we should all be concerned for all our boys. Equipped with knowledge of the current state of boys and some strategies to point the way forward, I am confident that independent school educators can work together to change the story. As my children make their way through school, I hope they will tell me more stories about energetic, engaged, emotional, courageous, and awesome boys. 

Is Self-Discovery Effective Pedagogy

This week's article summary is The Seductive Appeal of Discovery Learning, and it provides an overview of the roots of progressive education. 

In a nutshell, progressive education trusts children’s innate curiosity as the catalyst of their learning. Contrast this belief with traditional education that emphasizes the importance of direct, explicit instruction from teachers.

Which is the better pedagogy, progressive or traditional?

We’re fortunate at Trinity in that we have always embraced the best of both progressive, child-centered teaching and traditional, teacher-directed learning.

From the progressive side, we recognize that student engagement is critical to their motivation for learning. We give our students time to explore and discover – sometimes directed by the teacher but other times trusting the child’s innate curiosity. From our experience, awe in the classroom, a subject of an earlier summary, can occur internally and externally.

From the traditional side, we recognize that children need to be directly taught certain concepts, skills, and procedures. Also, it’s the teacher’s responsibility to provide reinforcement opportunities to ensure new learning is firmly stored in students’ long-term memory.

I worked in a school that proudly defined itself as providing a rigorous, traditional education: the predominant pedagogy was teacher lecture, student note-taking, and written quizzes and exams to assess student learning.

I also worked in another school that proudly defined itself as providing a child-centered, progressive education: the common pedagogy was student exploration, problem-based learning, and focus on process over product.

I enjoyed teaching at both schools, but I always had the feeling that each one too rigidly adhered to a particular pedagogy: kids need variety.

So, as we are now settled into the school year, check yourself to see if you’re utilizing multiple pedagogical options to support your students being engaged and learning deeply!

Joe

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The historical roots of discovery learning are as follows:

The Romantic Ideal of Learning: Jean-Jacques Rousseau argued that children learn best when they interact with nature and engage in real-world experiences, exploration, and discovery. Educators and parents in this tradition believe children are naturally curious and are capable, in the right conditions, of constructing knowledge independently. This romanticized idea is deeply ingrained in educational thought and resists empirical challenges.

The Progressive Movement: John Dewey and others inspired a movement holding that learning should be student-centered and driven by children’s natural curiosity and democratic values – and critical of rote memorization and instruction in which students were seen as passive sponges. These ideas became deeply embedded in teacher education. Terms like ‘guide on the side’ vs. ‘sage on the stage’ were popularized, reinforcing the idea that teachers should step back. 

Anti-Authority Sentiment: Discovery learning is allied to cultural and philosophical mistrust of hierarchical control, centralized expertise, and imposed knowledge. Thought leaders like Paulo Freire and Ivan Illich portrayed traditional education as a means of social control, viewing teachers with suspicion and mistrust. From this perspective, explicit instruction became equated with indoctrination, while discovery learning was seen as a path to emancipation. In this cultural context, discovery learning isn’t just a teaching method. It becomes a symbol of freedom, self-determination, and resistance to authority. 

Cultural and Political Appeal: Self-directed learning resonates with the values of independence, creativity, innovation, personal growth, self-reliance, and breaking free of outdated traditions – values that are prized in western societies. This points to repositioning the teacher from authority figure to facilitator, with children constructing their own understanding rather than being told how the world works. 

All this explains the continuing appeal of discovery learning, yet this teaching method has not stood up well to educational research. Strong empirical evidence shows that explicit, teacher-guided instruction is better than discovery learning in three ways:

• It’s more effective – students learn more
• It’s more efficient – it takes less time and mental effort
• It’s more fulfilling – students feel successful and are motivated to learn more 

Given the research track record, why does discovery learning continue to have so much support? 

Overgeneralizing Success Stories: It’s true that some students thrive in a discovery-based learning environment, especially those who are already highly motivated and have a strong foundation of prior knowledge. But these students are not representative of the general student population, including many in under-resourced communities. 

Confirmation Bias: People tend to favor information that confirms their existing beliefs, expectations, and assumptions, while ignoring or downplaying evidence that contradicts them. This can happen when educators see some success with discovery-based approaches, selectively remembering those successes and overlooking things that didn’t work out as well. 

The Illusion of Understanding: While students are engaged and working hard with discovery learning, it can feel like they’re learning deeply, but they may be reaching incorrect solutions and buying into misconceptions. Students may feel like they get it because of the effort they’ve put in, and may be resistant to correction, even if they get timely feedback. 

The Constructivist Teaching Fallacy: It’s true that people learn best by integrating new information into their existing knowledge structures. But when teachers provide only minimal guidance, students may not have enough information to construct coherent knowledge.

The Appeal of Active Learning: Research shows that active learning enhances retention, but if students use trial and error to solve a problem, they may have no idea how they got there. Well-guided discovery and explicit instruction can still be highly interactive and engaging.

 Treating Students as Experts: The idea behind discovery learning is that since scientists and other experts work through discovery, students can learn that way too. But experts see the world differently than novices, bringing to bear extensive background knowledge and mental models that guide them as they wrestle with problems. Scientists do science and students learn science. 

Studies in cognitive science consistently demonstrate that students learn best when they’re first explicitly taught foundational concepts before engaging in problem-solving or exploration. Scaffolding and well-designed instructional sequences allow students to explore and apply knowledge meaningfully after they have been given the necessary tools. This doesn’t mean that learning should be passive. Well-designed instruction incorporates active engagement, inquiry, and critical thinking, but within a framework that provides necessary support.