In addition to
educating children, we also are responsible for educating parents, especially
in an elementary school environment like Trinity.
Most
parents—myself included—have a fictionalized view of their own experiences in
school and often a sincere yet one-sided assessment of their child(ren).
Part of our job
as teachers is to get parents to view their child’s education as a long journey
with inevitable ups and downs and fits and starts with the ultimate goal being
personal fulfillment and happiness.
Help in subtle
and nuanced ways parents see the advice below.
Enjoy the
weekend!
Joe
5 Things
Teachers Wish Parents Knew
When I ask
teachers, “What one thing would you want your students’ parents to know?” the
same five points come up over and over again.
Your
kids can do much more than you think they can do. Despite all evidence to the contrary, your
children do not need your help tying shoes, zipping jackets, sharpening
pencils, packing their backpacks and lunch, or any of the million other tasks
they expect you to do for them every day. The next time your child tells you
they can’t do something, step back and wait.
It’s
not healthy to give your child constant feedback. When children require approval on every
scribble, homework problem and picture they draw,it’s probably because they
have been offered feedback on every scribble, homework problem and picture they
draw. It’s vital that children develop their own internal locus of approval and
honest self-assessment, because as they grow up and face hardship, they need to
be able to look to themselves for strength and approval. If they can’t, they
will be much more susceptible to the superficial external approval that comes
their way in the form of peer pressure, bullying and the usual social jostling.
As you wean them off of your feedback, turn their “Mommy, is this picture
good?” or “Daddy, did I do a good job?” back on them, and ask them how they
feel about their work.
We
promise not to believe everything your child says happens at home if you
promise not to believe everything your child says happens in our classrooms. Experienced teachers know that not
everything children share during circle time represents an accurate reflection
of what goes on in their home. Accordingly, when your child comes home and
claims that the teacher screamed and yelled at him in front of the entire class
for his low test score, try to give his teacher the benefit of the doubt until
you’ve had a chance to talk to the teacher about it.
Your
children learn and act according to what you do, not what you say. You are your child’s first and best
teacher, and they learn more from your actions rather than your words. When you
tell your child that it’s rude to text during conversations, yet you continue
to read your email while pretending to listen to him talk about his day, you
are teaching him to distrust your words and your intent, while reinforcing the
very behavior you seek to modify. In the samevein, if you want to promote a
behavior such as a love of learning, model that, too. Show your own interest in
learning by reading, thinking aloud, wondering aloud.”
Teach
your children that mistakes aren’t signs of weakness but a vital part of growth
and learning. Let your
children see you fail, admit to your mistakes, and talk openly about how you
have learned from those mistakes. Failure is part of the process. It’s what
they do after they fail that matters. If you pick them up after their every
failure, they learn nothing about how to begin again.
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