This week's article summary is How to Foster Confidence in Young Children.

As we begin to settle into the routine of school, it’s critical in the first weeks of school that we establish a safe, trusting classroom in which our students can push and challenge themselves and gain self-assurance as they learn and grow.

While confidence ultimately is an intrinsic quality, it needs to be nourished, encouraged, and cultivated externally. 

The article below is intended for parents yet its advice is applicable to the classroom.

Celebrating the process of learning including effort, gently pushing your students beyond their comfort zone, encouraging their independence, and trusting them to make the right decision are all aspects of an effective classroom. 

These first weeks of school set a strong foundation for the remainder of the year and will buoy your students as they gain confidence, one of the outcomes of a Trinity education.

Thank you for all your efforts in making these first days of school so productive and foundational!

Joe

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Here are seven ways to instill self-confidence in your child.

1. Make your help contingent on their self-help: As parents we want to do everything we can to help our children, but at some point, everything does nothing for their development and confidence. This one's hard for me because that parental instinct to "rescue" my daughter kicks in, creating a desire to intervene and help solve her problems. But I've learned that making shortcuts for her only lengthens her road to true self-confidence. And I see the results-- when she tackles something on her own, she walks taller. 

2. Applaud the effort, not just the result: Over the long haul, consistently trying hard builds more confidence than intermittently doing well. That's because in trying hard the child knows they're doing their best, they see progress in some measure, and will define success in smaller steps along the way. These constant micro-wins and knowing that they're giving their full effort add up to sustainable confidence.

3. Don't tell them when you're worried about them: Expressing confidence creates confidence. It's our job as parents to be worried about our kids, but telling them we are is unhelpful (except on things related to their safety or health). When you do, you plant seeds of doubt, not growth. It's up to you to ensure the latter. I've seen the power of the latter many times as a leader. I tell someone who's not so confident that I believe in them and then their performance soars, thus boosting their self-confidence-- a wonderful virtuous cycle.

4. Encourage practice outside of pressure: As an adult, you should practice the way you'll be performing, under simulated conditions of pressure. Not so as a child. The point of practicing for kids is to instill the confident expectation that improvement will follow. You already know you'll get better with practice, kids need to learn this. And children build competence and confidence simultaneously in supportive environments.

5. Let them act their age: In certain areas you might want your child to mature faster. But striving to meet advanced age expectations can reduce confidence. There are two exceptions to this, however. The first is letting the child make as many decisions as possible, even more than their age might dictate (as appropriate). Second, encourage them to excel at their natural talents/advanced skills that by default put them ahead of their age (i.e. don't hold them back in those cases). Both of these exceptions build confidence, not burst it.

6. Expand their circle of challenge: Give your child new challenges, experiences, and responsibilities, and praise them for their courage in taking them on. When they make the inevitable mistakes, help them see those mistakes as a necessary part of the learning process. Share your own stories of failure and improvement, too. And give feedback and suggestions for improvement versus criticism. More often than not, parental criticism reduces the child's self-valuing and motivation.

7. Let them see you succeed at something: They're watching you. So demonstrate some moments of triumph to subtly ingrain, "If mom/dad can do it..." Just remember, don't expect them to do it as well as you or you undermine the point.