Kids Are Resilient!

 This week's article summary is Kids Can Survive and Recover From Limited Socialization During This Pandemic.

Trinity students have been fortunate in that the majority of them have been at school for the majority of the year. Other children have not been as fortunate and have spent most of the last year learning via a computer screen.

Still, as an eternal optimist, I like the positivity of the article’s message that kids will overcome the challenges of this once-in-a-lifetime event.

Yes, it’s been a challenge for many kids to distance learn from home and to have little to no physical social time with peers. Yet, as the child psychologist in the article says, kids are resilient, have adapted to the limits of the past thirteen months, and will readjust next year as they begin to return to pre-pandemic habits.

There’s more hope and optimism in the air, even though our forward movement comes in fits and starts.

Enjoy the weekend—five weeks from today is 6th Grade Graduation! 

Joe

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Those days of shooing your children outside to play with the neighborhood kids or letting them invite friends over after school will be on hold for a few more months. The fact that an end is in sight, though, is a relief for parents worried about their youngsters' social development during the pandemic.

We learn a lot from others from a very early age. Things like how to share, how to tolerate different people and how to accomplish something as a group. That’s been missing for children not going to daycare, preschool, or regular classes because of the coronavirus.

“It definitely threw a curve into what kids were used to,’’ says Dr. Mike Vance, a child psychologist. Vance says parents shouldn't worry that kids have been ruined by the pandemic. The most important thing is how parents approach the situation. Avoid the “Gosh, it’s horrible, you aren’t getting any socialization,’’ which magnifies what has been lost. Instead, emphasize the positive, Vance says. The tone for that Zoom play date should be, “This is going to be so cool," rather than making it a poor substitution for how you would have done things pre-virus. 

Interactions with one or two other kids is just enough for your child to reach some developmental milestones. Activities can range from a hike or fishing outing if the weather permits to a cooking class or even a movie night. If a Zoom call is all you feel safe arranging, don’t think it has to be a two-hour session. For toddlers or preschoolers, 20 minutes of show-and-tell is enough. “Think of skills they would get in regular social actions and try to recreate that online,’’ Vance says.

Socialization is key at every age, but the amount and type of it is dependent on the child’s personality and the environment they are in. Kids living in the country might not get as much time with friends as someone going to after-school care. Parents know their kids and can usually tell if they are missing time with their buddies. If they seem different and are moping around, Vance says, talk to them about it. “Ask what is going on. ‘You seem down, what can you tell me about that.’ Then, listen. Don’t start firing out solutions. Ask and then listen and then ask again.’’ Try to come up with solutions together, staying within what you deem to be safe. If their answers worry you, talk to the school counselor, a pediatrician or a psychologist.

Don’t apologize for the situation. You are making decisions to keep them safe as well as grandma and grandpa, Vance says. 

Both kids and parents like predictability. The pandemic has taken away a lot of our normal routines but it has also created some good ones. If your children aren’t rushing from activity to activity, that leaves time for family dinners and game nights.

Use this time to enrich your family life, and your child’s confidence and self-soothing abilities. Family activities are just as important as time with friends, and good to continue when things get back to a more normal time, Vance says. “My bottom line: This year is what it is,’’ he says. “You don’t always have to have friends. It’s OK to sit around and read a book or color or help around the house.’’